Welcome back home my dearest friend to "My life a spiritual journey".

-> while life seems to unfold on our journey it sometimes seems like a drama, but after some time we may realize that is was a cosmic comedy.

Welcome to "My life a spiritual Journey":

Starting Part 2:

I don’t know how and really why but something changed a little bit in me and i started writing down "my goals of life?"
and "who do I want to be?".

I started informing myself of how to live more healthy and get more energy.
At that time thoughts were always plaguing me
- “What is this life all about?”
- “Is there a purpose for me in it?”
-> And if yes “how do I know ?”

So I started looking for answers online again and found "online teachers" who seemed interesting.
You know what they are talking about:
“how to get rich”!
and this is
“how you can be the best you can”!

And I burried myself over weeks and months through all of that and started
"positive affirmations", eating "Ayurvedic" food, trying out to be "Vegetarian".
( I ate always big amounts of meat you know, i was born in Germany:))
And then also "Vegan" for some months.

-> Nowadays I am much more relaxed with myself
and handle myself in a more loving way,
but at that time I had to be and do everything perfect.
-> you know a normal, sometimes confusing human life.

But this pressure i put unto myself generated a lot of tension in my body and mind.
So I looked for ways to handle that:
I found out "Running" would be great, so I added to "My-Daily-Program",
not just meditation and affirmation and eating healthy, but also running.
And this went on for quite some time.

Learning online from a teacher "to be aware of what I do", I started a "Daily-Journal"
and wrote down a "list of the things that I managed to do"
at every day.
They are very similar to the “To-Do-Lists",
but they are about writing at the end of the day down
all the small things that i actually managed to do on that day.
Not bad for a "start to get aware of your daily life" and the positive aspects of it.

But my actual "To-Do-List" also grew and grew and never seemed to stop,
there was always more I should have done and had to do, "to be the best person I can be ".

-> Because "i wanted to get perfect" on this outside world.
( which we thing is so important! and also "what others think of me" was of great importance.


- Nowadays I know by heart “what others think of me is their karma, but how I react to circumstances is my karma.”

- But at that time, my "FEAR" was strong ( "F"alse "E"go "A"ppearing "R"eal)

- Also "my EGO" was very big (= "E"dging "G"od "O"ut)

Even by doing all these things, mostly in the morning I found out:
-> that I still have not enough time to do everything in the world
"that i should do, to my high expectations and the ones from others.
-> to be such and such a person.

Then my partnership with my girlfriend broke down and everything crumbled to small pieces.
I did what I could, to hold on to all the things I had to do and "to realize this great person".
But it went mostly out of my hands, and I tried to manage as good as possible
-> "to stay with my head over the water."

So I eventually decided to quit my job, "to experience and understand life" by traveling in south-east Asia.
( i know now that quitting your job is not necessary for fulfilling your souls purpose.)

I put my little money on the bank, that I could stay there for some months.
At that time it was very important to me, to go to a bar or party and for meeting a nice girl.

-> At that time I was a very shy guy, so I tried to learn how to say "hello to the world" and especially to women.

After having good times by traveling and meeting nice people i changed somehow, ( on my travels i started "doing meditation" every day, even it was still quiet shot periods like 10-15min), but after some time I felt this " big whole in my heart" again, which nothing seemed to really fill and which was there already for many years.

Wanting to fill this whole somehow, i started questioning myself:

“What is this all about?”

“Who am I?”

“Do I have a purpose ?”

So my daily life was less organised and many parts of what I "greatly started",
I could not do anymore because of confusion and worries about life started to grow.

But I held onto at least to meditate as much as possible sometimes every day, sometimes not.
( because I had somehow the feeling this was what gives me something that I cannot understand yet, but will be of great benefit for me in the future)
-> and also because it made me feel good and relaxed.
( I didn't know at that time, that "my health, happiness and self-realization journey" was on full start already)

I started investing some money in stocks,
and had thoughts of "what i want to be?" and "what experiences I want to have in my life before I die?".
( Death was a very scary thing to me at that time.)

Started reading a lot of books, about "happiness" and "what old people say, that is most important in life to do and to be?".
Because you know, "some people get very honest before they die", "what they should have done in life" and what was good for them.

And afterwards, I wrote down a list of 30 things I have to do on this trip:

Being there and appearing bigger to me than all the others, was number 10 ( I believe it was this number:)),
which was “go to a real meditation retreat” to learn "what meditation really is" ?

This feeling grew stronger, so I bought a scooter and went on a longer road trip from central Thailand down the coast with a lot of beautiful beaches,
( seemingly untouched by humans)
and eventually set my scooter on a ferry and went to the island where my first meditation, under my first master began.

On this road driving south in Thailand, I also met the first enlightened being in this lifetime, that I am still aware of.

... end of PART 2

-> hopefully something of what i write, may help you in ways that are just meant for you or that are interesting to you.
Please write me your feedback with " your story helps me ... " or “i want more of your story ... ”.

And I will try to put this part first before the other developments of this website.

Thank you for reading my story.

That means a lot to me,
Roman


Thank you for staying with me along the way. :)

  • I truly believe if you have come with me this far, your soul is ready to evolve with me to the highest realms of existence and we will walk this path together. With the techniques here on HappYourself, you will soon understand yourself to the extend that was perhaps not even thinkable for you, I am truly happy that you are joining me on this wonderful path. So go on now and practice the techniques as much as possible, because the real, deep change in yourself eventually happens by sincere practice.

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